A Song For A Calvinist Wife

by Mark on January 9, 2009

Michael Dewalt posted a performance of the song I Think My Wife’s A Calvinist by its author Brandon Milan. Too funny!

I’ve transcribed the lyrics below and here is an mp3 download of the song. I’m going to play it for my wife without telling her about the song.

I can’t buy my wife roses
She doesn’t care a thing for them
Instead she likes Tulips
Cause they’re approved by John Calvin

She doesn’t read that Beth Moore book I bought her
She’d rather read St. Augustine
If she wasn’t a Baptist preacher’s daughter
I think she’d be Presbyterian

I think my wife’s a Calvinist
She only owns an ESV
I’m always catching her reading Romans 8:28 through 30
And Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology

She has a tattoo that says, “I heart John Piper in Greek.”
She likes Spurgeon more than she likes me
But that’s okay
I didn’t choose her, she chose me

She put me in a dog house
For liking the Emergent Church
She won’t fix my supper now
Cause I brought home a book by Norman Geisler

If you ever met her
You know she’s not mean she’s really sweet
Except when it comes to the little bitty matters
Of doctrine and theology

I think my wife’s a Calvinist
She only reads the ESV
Always hearing her quoting Romans 8:28 through 30
And Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology

She has a tattoo that says, “I heart John Piper in Greek.”
She likes Spurgeon more than she likes me
I think my wife’s a Calvinist
She only owns an ESV

She made me burn my NIV study Bible
Always reading Romans 8:28 through 30
All the time
And Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology

She has a tattoo that says, “I heart John Piper in Greek.”
And she likes Spurgeon more than she likes me
But that’s okay
I didn’t choose her she chose me

Yeah, she chose me (repeat)
She didn’t choose you she chose me