It was a nice warm day like most days. I’m not sure if the sun was out or not. I have not actually experienced the warm glow of the sun – yet. I looked forward to it though. I heard so many things from the outside. I could only guess what they were.
I looked forward to them all.
Oh, I yearned to experience a life filled with love. I just knew that life was coming soon with the way you cared for me and fed me. I was so warm and comfortable all the time on the inside. I loved it there. I knew my time was short.
I would be out soon; a new life of freedom was around the corner.
I would be out soon to begin really experiencing life. I would soon know the beauty of the next stage of my life – the beauty that is life. The next step was a big one for sure. Could I handle it? Was I ready for the next phase of my life?
It was so warm and safe there – could I stay? No. I know I could not have stayed. I was biding my time, making the most of it.
I looked forward to experiencing the love and beauty that life brings. Yet, there is another side to life that I would also have to face. Those ugly things contrary to love and beauty that God calls sin.
There would be hate and death and a number of things in between. But those are just the facts of life and I had time to prepare. I would take the good with the bad and learn to make the best of it – hopefully. I just needed a chance.
I needed my freedom.
The first thing I was going to do was bless you. I was going to love you unconditionally. I would have shown you a beautiful miracle; a miracle we would experience together.
You were going to be my all.
I was ready – so ready. Apparently, you were not.
We were so close; yet, it did not matter because you changed the plans. I did not understand why you changed everything. After constantly feeding me and giving me a nice warm, safe place to live – why?
We had the rest of our lives to look forward to. Sure, I was going to make mistakes and have failures and sometimes even ruin your plans. See, I was going to be just like you. But I was also going to love you and bless you like no other.
Mama, I was ready to cry for you; not die for you.
I was made in the image of God and I was almost born this way, but you aborted me.
I love you, Mama.