Every day was my Good Friday. Every day I was my own god. I loved my sin. Not a day went by that I was not planning another moment celebrating sin. What sins can I do tomorrow because today they were so satisfying? Which ones will fill my soul next?
During the week I was a pretty good guy. I lived to make the most of myself for myself. I strived to be better both personally and in business dealings. I wanted more out of life to make the most of myself. A slight exaggeration here or there didn’t really hurt anybody, especially, if it made someone feel good and provide me with more money or clout. How else was I going to achieve the American dream? Besides, I deserved success. I was hardly even sexually immoral during the week. I was a good guy.
I was a good guy on the weekend too. The weekend was a time to get drunk and solve world problems with friends using George Carlin’s vocabulary. It was also time to drink and figure out how to best fulfill those sexual desires – because that’s what life was all about! If nothing else, by the end of the night, nostalgic conversations about previous drunken nights was enough to send us home satisfied for the moment.
I was my own god. I was crucifying myself and didn’t know it!
With a Thor-like hammer, I tried to level everything in my way. I was making my own path with each swing of the hammer. I was making a better way with each swing of the hammer. I was saving myself. Yet, each swing got heavier being weighed down by my idolatry, sexual immorality, adultery, greed, drunkenness and so on.
Each swing of the hammer with one hand was driving a nail into my other hand. I was killing myself with each swing. I was building an impressive portfolio of sins. My sins made Satan proud while offending a holy God. I was building up a debt I could never repay. My soul was empty and unsatisfied no matter how many times I tried to fill it.
Then, God introduced me to the real Good Friday through reading His word!
So he delivered him over to them to be crucified. So they took Jesus, and he went out, bearing his own cross, to the place called The Place of a Skull, which in Aramaic is called Golgotha. There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, and Jesus between them. (John 19:16-18 ESV)
I understood now that Jesus was crucified for sinners like me and all who believe in Him.
The Death of Jesus
After this, Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), “I thirst.” A jar full of sour wine stood there, so they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a hyssop branch and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. (John 19:28-30 ESV)
I was finished too – finished living for myself in my sin. Though I was finished I was just beginning a new life. Reflecting back at this point in the Scripture, Jesus is not yet finished, but just beginning His three days of death before rising (Jn. 2:19).
Good Friday is rightly observed with a somber attitude remembering Jesus’ horrible death by crucifixion. My thoughts should not take away from such a solemn observance. Instead, I hope to add to today’s reflection of Good Friday.
I challenge each of us Christians to consider the sins in our past and present that killed Jesus on the cross.
Here I blog…