Ethics: Friend to Start Missionary Dating

What would you do Wednesday!

A single friend from church has some exciting news to tell you about his dating life. He wants to tell you over lunch after the Sunday morning worship time. You are excited to hear the news since you have been praying that he find a godly, Proverbs 31 woman.

While at lunch he starts to tell you the news – his new revelation on dating. There is a woman who wants him to ask her on a date. And the attraction is mutual. However, he has been hesitant because she is not a Christian.

But then he shares with you the recent story of Kirsten Powers who became a Christian as reported in Fox News’ Highly Reluctant Jesus Follower. As he begins explaining further, he pulls up his smart phone and reads part of the article.

A few months into our relationship, my boyfriend called to say he had something important to talk to me about. I remember exactly where I was sitting in my West Village apartment when he said, “Do you believe Jesus is your Savior?” My stomach sank. I started to panic. Oh no, was my first thought. He’s crazy.

When I answered no, he asked, “Do you think you could ever believe it?” He explained that he was at a point in life when he wanted to get married and felt that I could be that person, but he couldn’t marry a non-Christian. I said I didn’t want to mislead him—that I would never believe in Jesus.

“See what God can do!,” he exclaimed, “I get a chance to date a woman I like and save her at the same time.”

He explains that he will do just as Ms. Powers’ boyfriend did and go no further than dating. He will eventually let her know that he cannot ultimately marry a non-Christian.

What would you do?

  • Encourage him to go forward wishing him the best.
  • Discourage him from going forward explaining this is not God’s best way.
  • Ask him to wait until you can sit down with your pastor(s) for advice.
  • Tell him he has a better chance of changing her if he marries ASAP!
  • Or….

Here I blog…


tagged as , , in Christianity,Church Issues,Culture,ethics,faith

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

1 NickHorton2 November 6, 2013 at 1:31 pm

His thinking is faulty. He can’t save her; that is God’s arena. He shouldn’t proceed with the relationship. With no prospect of marriage there is no godly reason to date.

2 BereanStudyBlog November 6, 2013 at 1:42 pm

I would pinch his ear until he cried.

3 MarieP November 6, 2013 at 2:47 pm

He already knows enough to say, “He will eventually let her know that he cannot ultimately marry a non-Christian.”   The real issue is, why would he date someone he wouldn’t marry?

4 Mark Lamprecht November 6, 2013 at 6:55 pm

NickHorton2 The idea of saving her, of course, would God using him to save her.

5 Mark Lamprecht November 6, 2013 at 6:59 pm

MarieP He would probably date someone he potentially may not marry because he has desires he wants to fulfill. I have heard the excuses many times that “so and so dated with only one being a Christians” or “my parents dated and only one was a Christian” and everyone turns out fine. We don’t normally hear much about the failed relationships because they are no longer around to hear about.
I think Scripture is clear that Christians should not date nor marry unbelievers. Ironically, Christian-on-Christian relationships have enough struggles, temptations, and sins of there own so why would anyone want to bring an unbeliever into that type of relationship?


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