Ethics: Same-Sex Married Couple Come to Faith and Repent

What would you do?

The recent SCOTUS decision to legalize same-sex marriage will bring new challenges to local churches. One of the challenges may involve a same-sex married couple who comes to faith in Jesus as in the scenario below. Similar questions have been raised about advising an unbelieving transgendered person who comes to faith. Let’s think about it!

A same-sex couple made up of two men begin attending your church. You get to know them after the first two months. You have shared the gospel with them, explained Christianity, and invited them to your small group.

Six months pass. The couple has been faithful in attending Sunday mornings and in participating in your small group. One evening at the beginning of small group, one of the husbands speaks up. He says they both have something heavy to share with the group that has been weighing them down.

“As you know, we have been participating in your church life for the last six months. We both had a some kind of belief in God, but wanted to know more. You all lovingly took us in and taught us – helped us understand. Well, we now know what it is to be a Christian.

In fact, both of us repented of our sins and trust Christ a month ago. We understand from reading the Bible that we, as two men, should not be in the kind of relationship we are in. But we weren’t sure how to tell everyone. For the last month, we have been sleeping in separate rooms in accordance with our repentance. However, we are legally married by the state. Our dilemma, now knowing our marriage is wrong, is figuring out what we do now since divorce is also wrong. What do we do?”

How would you advise them?

Here I blog…


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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Steve July 1, 2015 at 8:50 am

That is easy. They were never married because marriage is between one man and one woman. Just because SCOTUS says its legal does not mean it’s legal in God’s eyes. Just like the Dredd Scott ruling does not mean that black people were property.

There would not be a divorce because there never was a marriage. So it’s pretty simple.

2 M. Moore July 1, 2015 at 10:33 am

I agree with Steve, there was never a God ordained marriage so the divorce (which is really just paperwork) would not be a sin.

3 Robert Sakovich July 1, 2015 at 11:15 am

Seek an annulment, if possible, because they do not believe that what they participated in is marriage. And also tell those involved that you have repented and evangelize to them.

4 Larry July 1, 2015 at 11:15 am

I third that. Two men cannot be married to start with so the “divorce” is not a problem.

5 Danette July 1, 2015 at 1:51 pm

I think this was excellent… We, the Church, really need to think about these scenarios now. Just to make this even more interesting, how would we advise this same couple on child custody and shared property issues?… Thoughts?

6 Ray July 5, 2015 at 1:58 pm

That wasn’t excellent in the final question to everyone as to what would we advise them. It is a false question from the Christian point as the two men in the scenario came to faith and believe that their ‘marriage’ is wrong, that is, if thought be put to it, in the eyes of their God, not a marriage. Clearly it is a civil ‘marriage’ and divorce would not be wrong. Divorce, being wrong, applies to the marriage of a man and a woman before God. So, the guys would be advised to dissolve the civil marriage and rest in peace as to the divorce.

7 sandy45d2013 July 11, 2015 at 8:41 pm

If the marriage was filed, it is legal in the eyes of the law. Wouldn’t they need to divorce so that, once again, it was clear in the eyes of the law. In God eyes, yes, he would not have recognized the marriage. Early on, as Robert mentioned, an annulment would be in order.

8 Grant August 7, 2015 at 5:28 am

Jesus Christ defines marriage (even as He created it in the beginning) in Matthew 19:4-6:
– “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
– and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and vthe two shall
become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh.
– What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

God created male and female for marriage; male and female are joined by God in marriage: THIS is true marriage; created people can not arbitrarily terminate a true marriage (even though they think they can). The state can no more marry two people of the same gender than they can end a true marriage arbitrarily.

This same-sex “marriage” is not a marriage. They may need to get the state to terminate what the state thinks is a marriage, but that’s a secular concern. They were never joined by God in marriage, and should avoid living together if they really have repented.

If they really have believed the Gospel, and really have repented, then they won’t reject or question the words of Jesus Christ which define marriage and show that they deceived themselves.


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