Ethics: Unchurched Christian Tries to Take Girlfriend Out of Church

What would you do Wednesday!

You notice that one of your friends from church recently began dating again. She has been part of your local congregation for about three years. In fact, you are in the same Sunday school class. While she has brought her new boyfriend to church a couple of times in the past two months, you don’t know much about him.

After Sunday school one Sunday you ask about her new boyfriend. She says he’s a good guy and a Christian who was raised in a Christian home, etc. They are at a point where they are discussing taking the relationship to the next level. The next level meaning they are setting a time table for courtship length and marriage.

The conversation was encouraging, but your friend is missing from the next four Sunday services. She finally returns on the fifth Sunday. You get a chance to talk to her to make sure everything is okay since she’s been MIA.

She explained that she is struggling somewhat with her new boyfriend along the line of attending church on Sunday. Her boyfriend – soon to be fiancé – has been teaching her that you don’t have to attend church to be a Christian. He doesn’t mind attending a church service every now and then to meet fellow Christians, but does not believe in being part of a local congregation.

Instead, they get together and pray and read the Bible at a time during the week. Once they marry and are living together they will set aside some time during the weekend to do prayer and devotions.

Your friend sounds like she is just about convinced of her boyfriend’s position. She’s been contemplating how to say goodbye to her Sunday school class.

What would you say to her?

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tagged as , in Christianity,Church Issues,Culture

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Dan Phillips August 7, 2013 at 4:20 pm

I’d tell her to read Pyromaniacs. There are a truckload of posts dealing with that very issue.

2 MarieP August 7, 2013 at 9:28 pm

My first thought is, where is the input of the elders in all of this?  My second is, why is the couple “setting aside time on the weekend for prayer and devotions” together when that is something they should ideally be doing every day?  This man appears to be a false shepherd, at the very least by leading a sheep astray and encouraging her to disregard her elders behind their back.  I would first ask if I could meet with her and discuss what her fiance has been teaching her.  If she agreed, I would guide her through Scripture on why we need the local church.  If she listens and repents, then I’ve won a sister, and I would encourage her to speak to a pastor before going back to talk to her fiance (it would give her added strength and show that it isn’t just her).  If she doesn’t hear me, then I would tell her to go speak with the pastor about this, and that I
will tell him that she will be contacting him for a meeting.

3 ToscaSac October 29, 2014 at 10:35 pm

I would talk with my friend about the prayer and church groupings I have experienced outside of church membership and attendance.

I would recommend she read things like Pagan Christianity and about Organic churches or the house church movement.

I would not be inherently worried but then I have been…playing hooky…from church for a bit now with my faith in tact…IJS


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